Say Cheese!

Sincerely eager woman: Quick, let's go! They're having a cheese demonstration!

-Halifax Farmer's Market

Overheard by Cynthia

Judge Judy versus Dr. Phil

Older man: I hope the bus comes soon, I gotta get home to watch Judge Judy!

Woman: You like that show, do you?

Older man: Oh yes..if you've never laughed in your life, she'll make you laugh!

Woman: Well, you don't want to miss that...do you watch Dr. Phil?

Older man: Well, not really...I mean I'm sure he's a nice fella and all...but, I tell ya, some of these people on his show, I don't know where he gets them. I'm a Newfoundlander, and when I have a problem I solve it myself, not expose it to the world!

- Bus Stop

Overheard by Richard

Colours of the rainbow, Sackville-style

Nostalgic co-worker: "My hair's been every colour of the rainbow, but the one I couldn't pull off was black. I'm way too honky for that."

- Brunswick Street

Overheard by Jon

Thanks

Man: I wish I could take you home tonight.

Woman: Why can't you?

Man: I'm gay.

- Cheers

Overheard by John

The Great Genius

Genius: Did you ever read the Great Gatsby?
Guy who is obviously missing something: Yeah, I thought it was great.
Genius: Did you know that every character was the same character?
Guy who is obviously missing something: What? I don't know what you mean.
Genius: I mean that every character was just a variation on one character.
Guy who is obviously missing something: Huh?
Genius: It's like every celebrity. They are the same person just different.

- Killiam Library

Overheard by Pauline

Old man take a look at my life, i'm NOT like you...

Old man: Do you like snakes?
Young woman: Um...no, not really.
Old man: No one respects snakes. They're the most powerful of all creatures.
Young woman: Oh, there's my bus.

- Bus stop

Overheard by Tom

Guys and Dolls

Guy: I like your look.
Girl: Hee hee, thanks!
Guy: Yeah. You look like a porcelain doll.
Girl: What?
Guy: It's your forehead. It's perfect. It makes you look smart.

- Metro Bus

Overheard by Allen

Martha Stewart 0, SMU Students 1

SMU girl: That's gross!!
SMU boy: No.. I like peanut butter. I like bacon. I like bread. ... I like grilled...

- St Mary's University

Is this a good pick up line?

Black Guy Dancer: You dance really well.
White Girl Dancer: Thanks.
Black Guy Dancer: Like, really well. I can't believe you're white! You must have some black in you.
White Girl Dancer: Nope, I don't.
Black Guy Dancer: Would you like some black in you? (winks)

- Marquee's Retro Night

Overheard by A.

Send my Love

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Me: Hello?
Girl on the other line: Hi...is Austin there?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong number.
Girl on the other line: Oh. Okay...
Me: What number were you trying to call?
Girl on the other line: Um. 423-####.
Me: That is my phone number. Perhaps you wrote it down wrong?
Girl on the other line: Yeah...if you do see Austin, can you tell him that I love him? And also tell him that my heart breaks every moment I am not with him and I can't take it anymore.
Me: I don't know an Austin, though...
Girl on the other line: What did you say? I can't hear you.
Me: I said that I don't know an Austin. I'm sorry.
Girl on the other line: What...? I can't hear you. I really wish I could hear you...please send my love.

Dead tone.

- On the phone

Overheard by Lindsay

Oh, okay!

Girl 1: What do you get a guy for Valentine's Day?
Girl 2: I don't know, nothing.
Girl 2 (after some thought): Oh, a blowjob.

- Valentine's Day card section

Overheard by Crystal

At least it wasn't a 1-900 number

Pre-Med/Dentistry/Other Health Profession Student: So I'm on the phone with this woman, asking for the phone number. She says, "555-five six oh eight." Now I thought she said "Oh, wait," because she forgot the number and had to look it up, so I reply, "Okay." So there's a long silence because I thought I was just waiting for this woman to look up the phone number. Then after awhile I hear her say hello. "Hey. "You're still on the phone?" "Yeah." "...Can I help you?""I was waiting for you to give me the number." "I already did""You did?" "Yeah. It's 555-5608" "Oh. Um, thanks, bye."

-Tupper Building, Dalhousie University

Overheard by Cynthia

...and I have no tact

Guy #1: He's so great in bed. He's not much good for anything else, though.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Come on, have you ever actually talked to him?
Feisty Chick (steps out of a cab and goes over to Indie Guy, directly in front of Guy #1 and Guy #2, and asks): Do we have to wait in line even if we're on the guest list?
Indie Guy: Yup.
Feisty Chick: That is G-H-A-Y!
Indie Guy (to Guy #1 and Guy #2): It's alright, she's a lesbian.

- In line outside of The Marquee Club

Overheard by Sam E.

Don't cry over spilled...

Coffee Girl: It's just a fact that the men's washroom is always smelly and gross.
Coffee Guy: You're so narrow-minded.
Coffee Girl: When I lived with two men, they never spilled any piss.

- Perk's on Quinpool

Overheard by Gerald

He Scores, He Shoots!

Snotty Girl #1: I feel like I'm watching a different game now.
Snotty Girl #2: That's because it's backwards.

- Halifax Metro Centre, Section 20, Row N

Overheard by Jim

Quality Metro Centre Chairs or Quality Friends?

Snotty Girl #1: I think I'm stuck to my seat.
Snotty Girl #2: What?
Snotty Girl #1: I said I think I'm stuck to my seat. There's something sticky on my seat.
Snotty Girl #3: Maybe it's gum?
Snotty Girl #2: Maybe it's because you crapped in your pants?

- Halifax Metro Centre, Section 20, Row N

Overheard by Jim

Coffee Talk

Coffee Junkie #1: What religion are Asians?
Coffee Junkie #2: You know, the religion of the Asians.
Coffee Junkie #1: Ah...

- Tim Horton's

Overheard by Chris

The Man Who DIDN'T KNOW Too Much

Tourist #1: (referring to statue) Who is it of?
Tourist #2: Oh, it's Hitchcock for sure. Halifax likes their movies.

- In front of the Spring Garden Library (Sir Winston S. Churchill statue)

Overheard by Brian

I think we must reassess our "maker"...

Older Lady: Oprah has participated in my friend's emotional therapy courses and now uses her ideas on her show and doesn't give her credit at all for it.
Keen Young Adult: That's horrible. Does your friend have a website or contact where I can find out more info on her programs?
Older Lady: No. She's a VIP. She doesn't need a website or those things. She has to turn away work.

- Subway

Overheard by Bernetta

Young Chap: Oprah is God.

- #1 Bus

Overheard by Bernetta

[EDITOR NOTE: Both overheard on the same day]

Good Ol' Cousin IT

Older Great Uncle: (speaking to his wife loudly) So, do you think we're going to make it tonight?
Everyone: (laughs)
Great Uncle: Make it home. Home.

- Family Function, Robie Street

Overheard by Patricia (niece)

Ready to Serve

Older couple: He heads off to the dairy case for something as his wife says, "I'll be in kitty litter."

- Sobey's

Overheard by Susan

Moore Marx

Black Man: Man, I need to get a power suit for work. So I can look all professional and shit.
White Man: Cool man. You start Friday?
Black Man: Yea...yup.
White Man: What are you thinking?
Black Man: I don't know suits man. I want something that grabs people's attention. That stands out.
White Man: I know suits. I know what means power. What about a white power suit?

- Moore's

Overheard by Mike

Ashlee is so Metal, too.

Teenybopper Poseur #1: Closet Monster is so punk rock!
Teenybopper Poseur #2: No they're not
Teenybopper Poseur #1: Ok, then who is?
Teenybopper Poseur #2: AC/DC, for sure.

- Billy Talent show at The Forum

Overheard by H

Wax On, Wax Out?

Office Metrosexual: Hey, thanks for loaning me your ear-cleaners...

- Prince Street

Overheard by B

One-line Deliverance

Spaced-Out Eater: I see you talking, but all I hear are dueling banjos.

- Montana's

Overheard by Jon

Pop Goes the "Scenester"

Drunk & Stoned Scenester (in an incredulous voice): And another thing about the Pop Explosion sucking was that, you know, I was sitting on my couch till 11, walk down all stoked to see The Organ, and it was sold out! I couldn't get in!
Pop Explosion Organizer (in an exhausted/Jesus what a twat voice): Well you know that, that really isn't our problem...

- Ginger's

Overheard by W

Insufficient Data

Dork: Do you have any XBox Memory Chips?
Clerk: Whaaa...?
Dork: You know, uh, memory chips?
Clerk: (jaw drops open)
Dork: Uh...the 8 Megabyte things you stick into your controller?
Clerk: (jaw still dropped open)

- Toys R Us

Overheard by Jimmy

Let Your Fingers Do The Walkin'

Fratboy 1: It burned my fingers so bad, they practically froze like that.
Fratboy 2: That's because you've got to grope 'er first.

- Metro Bus

Overhead by Gerald

Southern Exposure

Male musician-type: You're a black underwear kind of girl, aren't you? Like, black cotton. Am I right?
Girl: Yeah I am, I guess.
Male musician-type: Yeah, white is so cliche.
Girl: Yup. And black makes so more sense. Its more practical.
Male musician-type: Absolutely...yeah...?
Girl: Like, if your underwear is showing you look cooler if it is black, right? Like, it kinda doesn't look like underwear. I looks like a pleasant butt mask.

- Metro Bus

Overheard by Bernetta

Af-Quack!

Hipster One: Why?
Hipster Two: I just don't think taking a duck is going to solve our problems.

-Public Gardens

Overheard by Bernetta